EMDR #22: Resolutions

Throughout recounting these sessions, I reveal a lot about my own thoughts and emotions, and I’d like to remind anyone that reads these, that these are my own thoughts and the ways I interpreted things that happened in my life. It is no fault of anyone else that I reacted, felt the way that I did or thought a certain way whenever something took place.
We can break the cycle of projecting our problems onto one another as long as we can find understanding towards others and within ourselves…

Recount of Session: Oct 17th

I was able to get the parts I needed for my car and fixed it up, however I was still having some issues with it and it ended up completely breaking down forcing me to call the time of death on it. I didn’t let it frustrate me anymore, I needed to look at alternatives instead. Luckily my sister was able to bale me out as she had an old car that just needed some TLC and it was mine to use. The Duchess had started seeing someone new and again I felt a familiar heartache with her not being available. I wasn’t sure what it was with her, but I longed for something more than just a friendship. I thought maybe it was purely lust as I found myself sexually attracted to her, but it seemed like more than just that. Either way, I felt a significant amount of heartache when I found out and I needed to find a way to move past it.

I went to visit my father for his birthday and it was really nice to spend time with him. My therapist and I discussed earlier the importance of having a positive male role model in my life and the feeling that I do have love from both of my parents and seeing my father and enjoying the time we spent together really helped with that.

My therapist and I discussed how I still feel loneliness but at the moment I was not feeling any attractions to anyone as I felt caught up in my own head dealing with whatever feelings I had for the Duchess as well as the stressful events in my life at the time. We discussed trying out online dating as an option to find people that I can talk to and form relationships with while still setting boundaries if they needed to be set.

We discussed what things I’ve decided for my future in regards to school and getting into psychology. I’d prefer to take a Bsc of psychology through the University, however I needed to find a way to save up enough money to pay for it. I planned to start taking some certifications at work so I can either move up or find a job that will pay more in order to accomplish my goals.

I had also written my first blog about Therapy (A Welcome Change) and how I immediately got a response from a friend that was dealing with some issues and had inspired them to seek some help from a professional which really makes everything I’ve been trying to do worth it. I hope to continue inspiring and breaking the negative stigma about therapy throughout the rest of my journey.

We also talked about an interview I had coming up for a position within my company that I was excited to have and that I should be proud I was selected from the many candidates to have the interview.

It was a nice debrief session and next time I wanted to go back into my school days and the issues I had from them.

The goal of sharing my story is to raise awareness of mental health problems that all of us experience and to break the stigma surrounding mental health. My belief is that we hurt each other because we have been hurt ourselves, but if we can heal past our own hurt that ends up causing us to hurt others, we can break the cycle of pain that we have been inflicting on each other for so long.

If you are looking for a start in your own journey of self healing, the best way to start is by talking to someone: If you are in Alberta there is a mental health helpline found at http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/amh/amh.aspx or in the US, http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help. Usually a quick google search for help in your location will bring up a toll free number you can call. I also have a friend that practices hypnotherapy and has an affordable pay model for anyone seeking help. here is a link to his website, Healing Self. And if you’d like to contact me personally for any help or direction, you can use my contact page to reach out and I will keep anything confidential (aside from if you’re planning to commit a crime) and help to the best of my abilities.

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