EMDR #13: Confidence

Throughout recounting these sessions, I reveal a lot about my own thoughts and emotions, and I’d like to remind anyone that reads these, that these are my own thoughts and the ways I interpreted things that happened in my life. It is no fault of anyone else that I reacted, felt the way that I did or thought a certain way whenever something took place.
We can break the cycle of projecting our problems onto one another as long as we can find understanding towards others and within ourselves…

Recount of Session: July 19th

Since starting to see my therapist, I felt like looking at the past version of my self was like looking at night and day. I am so much more confident than I used to be and people have commented on how much they had noticed. I felt contentment after finding my passion and direction I wanted to take in life and overall I felt good however I was still feeling a large degree of loneliness and we needed to work on that.

Although I was feeling pretty confident about a lot of things in life, there was one thing that I have never felt too confident about, sex. I always felt uneasy thinking about getting involved with anyone because I was so sexually inexperienced, and I felt I would be inadequate when it came down to that. I was afraid to ask for a date because I was afraid when it came time to get intimate, I wouldn’t know what to do and make things awkward. My therapist told me that these fears are valid to have however when it comes down to it, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and take that risk.

My therapist believes that a relationship is not built on sex, but sex is one of the intimate things that a couple shares. If a relationship is built on other essential feelings and built correctly on proper foundations then small things like sexual inexperience won’t make a difference in the relationship because it’s something you can work on together.

I was asked to put together a couple thoughts that I was afraid of when it came to the sexual part of a relationship and we would work through them in the next session.

The goal of sharing my story is to raise awareness of mental health problems that all of us experience and to break the stigma surrounding mental health. My belief is that we hurt each other because we have been hurt ourselves, but if we can heal past our own hurt that ends up causing us to hurt others, we can break the cycle of pain that we have been inflicting on each other for so long.

If you are looking for a start in your own journey of self healing, the best way to start is by talking to someone: If you are in Alberta there is a mental health helpline found at http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/amh/amh.aspx or in the US, http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help. Usually a quick google search for help in your location will bring up a toll free number you can call. I also have a friend that practices hypnotherapy and has an affordable pay model for anyone seeking help. here is a link to his website, Healing Self. And if you’d like to contact me personally for any help or direction, you can use my contact page to reach out and I will keep anything confidential (aside from if you’re planning to commit a crime) and help to the best of my abilities.


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