I finally made one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever made in my life and that was to start seeing a professional psychologist for help with further understanding and discovering myself.
I can say without a doubt, this was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself.
As soon as I sat down and started explaining who I am and some things about myself, my therapist had already understood the feelings I had and the reasons I had them. To finally have some understanding and to have someone tell you why you may have felt a certain way, it was almost like the lonely burden I placed on myself was somewhat lifted and something inside felt lighter.
In my first appointment I introduced myself and told my therapist a bit about my life, my job and why I’m seeing them. Immediately after hearing that I was a middle child and I had a sister that was 6 years younger that passed away as a baby, my therapist immediately identified that I was neglected as a child and I most likely did not receive the love that a child needs to develop properly. This made so much sense for me, someone who was always seeking to gain the love of others even through the sacrifice of my own happiness. My therapist further explained that it was no fault of my parents, as no one is perfect and being a middle child often means they were too busy with the other children to pay proper attention to me, and with my sister passing away when I was 6, I was not able to receive the attention I needed, and so I developed a quiet, left in the dark demeanor and felt as though I was not worthy of having attention paid to me. A child’s mind is a fragile thing, and that thought and feeling carried with me throughout my life. We moved on and I continued telling her about major life events, such as my parent’s divorce when I was 12 years old, my stepdad and how much of a time bomb living with him was, and the few relationships I had been in that were ultimately doomed to fail (because they were all long distance). I told her about the depression I had fallen into, and the car accident that had changed my life, and before I knew it, our time was up for the first session, but I had felt a huge burden lifted, and I gained some further understanding into why I am the way I am.
The following posts I am going to be writing are going to be my experiences from going my therapist and I urge anyone who reads this to continue reading my experiences to see the change in my thoughts that I have undertaken.
My hope is that if anyone has ever thought about seeing a professional about anything they have experienced or are going through, to seek help out because talking to someone who can help sort things out can be invaluable. And if you have already seen someone and felt they didn’t help you, perhaps try someone else; everyone has a different way they make sense of things and you may get someone that doesn’t work for you, but that does not mean you are hopeless, you just haven’t found anyone that can help make sense of it all.
When I first sought help I was afraid and didn’t know how to find the help but there are a lot of resources available. If you are in Alberta we have a mental health helpline found at http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/amh/amh.aspx or in the US, http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help, a quick google search for help in your location will usually bring up a number you can call for free for help and then it just takes the courage to call. I ended up calling a number my employer provides for anyone having issues and they set me up with the therapist I see now.
I also have a friend that practices hypnotherapy and has an affordable pay model for anyone seeking help. here is a link to his website, Healing Self
I started seeing my therapist in April 2017 and looking back to then I can see how much of a difference it has made in my life, but it is not easy and you have to face many personal demons, however every hardship I’ve went through has only contributed to my growth and I truly feel like a different person than I used to be. #Worth